Helping Hurting Kids- Marv Penner

28 Feb

  • Isa. 61:1-3- Calling, and job description
  • Asking to hear their story…there are no steps
  • What do they need next to move forward (safe place, to forgive, to be valued, to be loved, etc.)
  • 2 Cor 5:19-20- we are not saviors but ambassadors, a tool He uses
  • Presuppositions
    • Most of the kids we work with are hurting much more deeply than the or we are willing to admit
      • Why are kids so reluctant to let us adults know that they are hurting?
        • Pride
        • Have to deal with it
        • Disappointment in me by those I care about
        • Fear of being judged- written off
        • Lack of trust- parents will find out
        • Too BIG of a problem
    • Why are we as leaders so reluctant to admit that our kids are hurting deeply?
      • We will feel the pain
      • We won’t know what to say
      • Demanding of your time
      • Brings up our own pain
      • Opening the box, might make things worse
      • Jer. 6:13-14
  • Most of the pain kids live with comes as a direct result of painful or disappointing relationships where trust has been betrayed
    • Betrayed trust is most often family-based
  • Resources for healing exist within the community of believers. The resources are available nowhere else
  • These “body-based” resources are for the most part ignored and remain un-appropriated
  • The essence of any truly effective journey toward healing must be repentance…
    • Assuming we are defining repentance biblically
      • Most of the time we are asking kids to turn from something, it’s a call to turn TO someone.  It’s about restoring relationships, the relationship with Jesus.
      • Understanding the source of adolescent pain
        • Some kids are hurting because of something that’s happened TO them. NOT because of their decision.
        • Some kids are hurting because they made some really bad choices- Agents of their own disaster
        • The problem is kids often make bad choices BECAUSE bad things are happening to them
        • Something happens — It must be my fault–  Destructive choices–  I’m a hopeless loser and repeats
          • If it’s NOT my fault I become a target- I can protect my future so it won’t happen again
          • How did Jesus respond to hurting people?
            • He loved them as they were, but refused to leave them as they were.
              • Our job description
              • Some things you can count one
                • Kids will talk to the person they trust rather than the person they are supposed to talk to.
                  • Treat it with respect and honor when they trust in you
  • Kids are more concerned with trustworthiness than with our educational qualifications or government certifications.
  • Myths of working with hurting kids:
    • We have to have our act completely together- It’s out of the comfort we have tasted in Jesus that we help others move forward.
    • We have to have a messy, traumatic past. We do need to be aware of our own sinfulness
    • We have to have all the answers
    • Never forget that you are a shepherd Ezekiel 34- Our role
      • Like any good shepherd sometimes we need to call in a veterinarian
      • Be a healthy person
        • Give students boundaries
          • Days, times
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